The conversation

For all the benefits of evidence based conventional medicine, a point comes when science does not have all the answers, and when we need to acknowledge that fact to our patients and their families.

For some "the conversation" is dreaded, because hope is equated to science. But physicians need a broader education, and a realization that most people have Hope that is based upon a sense of being connected, and cared about, and that runs on faith.

Dr. Lucille Marchand, a mentor to family physicians and palliative physicians at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine, phrased it this way in the Summer 2010 issue of the AAHPM Bulletin, "Hope is not an outcome, it is the process of living fully."

As a prelude to the conversation I always sit down, and I tend to take off the "white coat." I convey as much as I can, simply by not being rushed, that as a fellow human being "I care."

I ask more questions and do more listening - and very often I find that patients gift me with surprising wisdom.

In any case - "the conversation" is not always so difficult, and this weekend - I had a nicer one.

Carl is an 84 year old man who entered a hospital 10 months ago, he later said he "didn't feel well so he went to the hospital." Nothing was found (as so often happens since nearly 50% of patients with small strokes have CT scans that do not show the strokes, especially in the first ew days). He was agitated and hard to manage and was felt to have irreversible dementia and was placed on a high dose of an "atypical anti-psychotic" class medication. For patients with agitated dementia, it remains a serious problem, since these medications are not indicated for long term usage, but there are few options pharmacologically for safely and effectively managing agitated dementia patients (why not use non-pharmacologic methods one might well ask - a very good question)

I decided to slowly take the risk of tapering Carl off his medication. Rapid dose reductions can cause problems as well. For months Carl appeared as he had been labeled by the hospital - simply demented and near the end of life, listless, confused, mumbling and totally dependent. Slowly he began to be a little more alert, but as we continued to reduce the medication - a startling event happened this weekend, Carl really woke up!

He wheeled his wheelchair over to me as I came onto his unit, and said to me, "your the doctor aren't you. What day is this? What month is this? How long have I been asleep? Where is my family and do they know where I am?"

I sat down and talked with Carl for a long time, and explained what had happened, and he told me about what his life used to be like, what work he had done (a very responsible job).

And then I had to have "the conversation." I called his family. Only this time - it was a "good conversation." "You may have noticed a change in your dad, " I said." "Well - we noticed something last week - my daughter wouldn't enjoy visiting her grandpa, but last weekend he was more alert." And I explained how I had been slowly tapering him off his medication - "I can't guarantee how long this will be for," I had to add. "But it would be great if you could come over today, he is very alert and really wants to see you."

The thing is - with an approach of palliative care, "the conversation" is often one filled with hope. We accept we cannot cure yet we continue to care, and we give hope simply by connecting and caring. And sometimes, when conventional treatments cannot actually cure, patients are better off without them - sometimes using futile medications for "hope" doesn't make sense scientifically or humanistically.

Dr Lucille Marchand wrote in her article that physicians "don't take hope way by running out of conventional, curative treatment options; rather, we discourage hopefulness by not being present and listening to what our patients truly need from us."

I agree. And the fact that within conventional medicine, there is increasing recognition of the import role a physician can play in nurturing hope elevates the spirit. Palliative care is a specialty that brings conventional and complementary methods together by its very essence, and makes a more human model. It makes "the conversation" a little easier. It enriches all our lives.

Finding Hope on a Hospice Unit

Health care at its best is scientific and evidence based, but often the complexity is to understand "which science." Long ago science recognized that the universe as we perceive it with out current methods is made up of matter and energy, but since "energy" was harder to measure, we focused on a Newtonian-Cartesian science that viewed "matter" as - well - what "mattered."

Discussions about "energy" in health care, as with the Eastern models, didn't make sense in terms of Newtonian-Cartesian science. And that all held together until Einstein came along, and after him, current physicists with Quantum theory, Gill Edwards writes in "Conscious Medicine" (a marvelous book well worth reading) "as physicists looked at tinier and tinier particles o what makes up our physical reality, they concluded that there simply isn't any solid stuff. There is only energy, or in quantum physics terms "waves of probability."

While I do not agree or endorse all of Ms Gill's statements about "conventional medicine," what is important in her argument is that complementary approaches cannot simply be invalidated because they do not fit someone's view of the Newtonian-Cartesian models (which are useful but no longer accurate as we assess sub atoic physics and the essence of things.

The NIH suggested that both conventional and complementary techniques should be viewed in light of an evidence based approach - and often complementary techniques are lower cost, lower side effects, and "do no harm."

Some techniques used routinely in conventional medicine can be high cost high risk with limited proof of efficacy, but we can get very caught up in the mantra of "fighting for someone." Using chemotherapy for a cancer that is sensitive to the agent, makes sense, but continuing a toxic sustance when it is clearly not helping may be sapping the body of its own natural defenses - using anti psychotics in some circumstances can effectively save peoples lives but in other circumstances they are being used where they are frankly "black boxed" by the FDA as not approved for use due to potential harm and lack of effectiveness.

For anyone in medicine humility is a valuable commodity - I can remember in my conventional medical school training, one wise physician pointed out to me that we get a small percentage of patients better through our interventions, most would heal anyway naturally, but that we injure some as well in our treatment. I always held the "do no harm" mandate to be important. Our professor of Public Health in medical school pointed out that changes in life expectancy tables correlated more to infectious disease limiting measures (such as control of sewage and quarantine of certain illnesses) than advances in medications and surgical techniques.

Europe seems to utilize less aggressive surgical approaches than we have as standards in the US (in act an element of our health debate is the argument of hypothetical "waiting lists" in Europe, when in fact, age adjusted most European countries have lower mortality figues and longer life expectancies that in the US).

And so - particularly for those patients who have diseases that are viewed as "incureable" by conventional medicine, asking "energy based" questions seems to make sense. Sitting down with a patient and asking "what do you believe happens with your spirit or consciousness when your body dies" expresses - most importantly - a sense of humility, and a sense of a willingness to listen, and a genuine caring for the person we are talking with. Our acceptance of their faith or belief set is supportive of them - and it allows for acknowledging our inability to "cure" someone, without taking away their own intrinsic sense of hope - separating out our lack of skill to cure from their future - not saying "you are going to die" but asking them what journey they perceive themselves to be on.

Patients and families are almost always positive in their responses. Some simply appreciate a doctor sitting down and taking the time to talk with them - and demonstrating the one thing we can clearly do when we cannot cure, and that is care. More importantly, patients have a natural tendency to hope, if only we do not crush that hope or invalidate it, in our need to be "scientific."

Rarely - I find an atheist, and it is never my job to convince or convert - but every atheist I have met has been more than willing to tell a listening doctor how he/she feels, and more than happy to review his/her life experiences with someone who cares.


When I came back to work on my in patient hospice unit, after my week at the AAHPM meeting, two patient experiences reminded me what my job was all about.


Sharon is 69, she was declining and suffering from severe pain and emacia. We had controlled her pain on our unit - she was hearing impaired, but was very alert to a patient listener. When I asked my one question, here were her responses - we just listened. "I don't know what to expect and I guess that's why you have anxiety, when you don't know what to expect. You're not going to be here on earth anymore, you're going to be with God. I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about what's in between - and everyone else suffering on account of me."



Mike was 80. He suffered from renal failure and was not eating, he was unconscious. A family member was present and in vigil. We asked her what she thought her loved one believed was happening to his spirit. She stopped crying to think about that question. "He is hard of hearing and his speach is impaired. He had no formal education. He was ignorant really in many ways. He never really expressed himself on heaven, he would have had a hard time expressing himself about that. I don't know how to explain it - he was just there - just him. He and Mom went to church almost every Sunday, though, for 50 years till she died. Then he lost his house and car. He lived an uneventful life, he was just there. He just lived his life, he never hurt anyone or did anything mean to anyone - sometimes he would just mow peoples lawn in the neighborhood without even charging them."



Sharon's pain was controlled on our unit, and went home to spend additional time with her family. Mike made transition free of pain. In both cases, their presence enriched us because we took the time to listen to the spirit that connects us all - spirit that resides in each human being.

In the best of worlds, we will use conventional medicine wisely and scientifically, we will use penicillin (or a more modern antibiotic) to save lives, and we will reduce cardiac risks and forstall cancer as best we can. We will avoid using the modern equivalent of "leeches" and be open to complementary medicine, or forms that Gill Edwards calls "conscious medicine" - to encourage the natural healing processes.

And most importantly we will face each day with humility, and continue to care for fellow human beings even when we can't cure them. Hopefully acts of compassion will make a difference in a world that so badly needs positive energy.

Vancouver and Reiki

This past week I had the opportunity to visit Vancouver for a meeting of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. The conference itself was a meaningful experience, but the visit was enhanced by my Vancouver Reiki experience.

After studying Usui Reiki Ryoho with my first teacher, Robin Littlefeather Hannon, I was trained and attuned to Gendai Reiki by Amy Rowland, and after that learned and received attunements from Rick Rivard.

http://threshold.ca/reiki/home.html

One of the wonderful "perks" of learning with Rick, is participation as a former student in his "Tera" listserv. Rick was one of the founders or URRI - Usui Reiki Ryoho International, that ran from 1999-2003 and brought Reiki masters together from all over the world. "Sharing from the heart" (as Rick usually signs his emails) is a part of Reiki, and sharing Reiki experiences with Master teachers and new students worldwide is an enriching opportunity. As valued as this experience has been, I had wanted to meet Rick, receive "in person" attunements from him, and meet some of the other compassionate caring human beings who post on "Tera."

It is sort of fitting that Vancouver be such a hot bed of Reiki - not only was the first URRI session held there in 1999, but as well, Mrs Takata taught in a limited number of venues, and she lived with the Twan family in British Columbia, and taught there for a significant period of time.

So when I emailed Rick letting him know that I would be in Vancouver for a few days, and would like to meet and receive attunement from him - little did i know the treat that was in store for me. Rick and Peggy arranged for an exchange and about 20 practitioners turned out for an evening at the beautiful Canadian Memorial United Church at 15th and Burrard in Vancouver. Rick picked me up from my hotel, showed me quite a bit of Vancouver, the Sylvia Hotel where the Japanese masters stayed in 1999, the beach, views of the mountains, and finally we were at the exchange. There is a certain feeling that occurs when so many Reiki practitioners are together - my wife and I felt this when we visited the Temple in Kyoto where the Komyo exchange meets every week.

We gathered in a circle, and Peggy led a meditation. Energy flowed in the circle, and members of "Tera" who were not physically present "joined in." There was a sense of renewal, and connection, and ripples of compassion. A picture of Usui Sensei and the Japanese rendition of the Reiki precepts graced the front of the room, turning the church into a "dojo" - Rick and Jaime gave Reiju to all present.

Sitting in the circle, each of us shared our stories. And then we divided into groups working 4 or 5 practitioners to a table so that each of us received 10-15 minutes of Reiki.

I want to express gratitude to Rick for his years of commitment to Reiki, teaching, and for his constant sharing from the heart; to Peggy for helping with arranging the evening, and for doing a wonderful meditation, to Jaime for the Reiju - and to everyone who shared (in physical presence, or by distant Reiki) this exchange.

I do want to add to this Blog a poem I wrote earlier in the day. At the AAHPM meeting I participated in a section on working to relieve Lateral Violence in Health Care. This is a huge problem, and responsible practitioners and Health Care systems are facing this issue of mistreatment of health care workers by health care workers. To bring out issues, we broke into groups of 8 physicians and nurses, these were "mainstream" docs and nurses, not a Reiki group, but stories poured out. We had a reading based on experiences of an Intern, and we then each did a Reflexive Writing exercise.

I felt such incredible pain and anger around me - and people poured out their hearts. Perhaps with the help of Reiki, I am holding very little anger in - anger and worry are so harmful to us when we hold it in - but even before hearing everyone else's stories (some of the physicians and nurses said that what they wrote in their exercise they had never told anyone in their lives - and seeing people through the week you could see the healing).

But I wrote this poem - it reflected on the intern who, exhausted, and mistreated himself, had a dying patient who he could not save.

A last breath is taken

The wind goes through the trees

A noble spirit emerges

I see your pain.

You saw me suffering

And you were powerless to help me

But it is OK

I know that you cared.

Do not worry

Let go of your anger.

You have more energy within you than you know

You can heal.

I am grateful that you were present for my transition

It is OK

Let go of your own pain.

Do not despair.

You have compassion.

Form sacred spaces with others

And find the strength present for you.

Two days later I was listening to another session at the AAHPM meeting, and I heard a quote - I do not know from where it initially derived. It stated - "we do not do miracles, we form sacred spaces where miracles can occur."

And so I will always remember my time in Vancouver, where a group of conventional doctors considered the possibilities of Sacred Spaces - and I experienced the sharing of a Reiki exchange with so many compassionate people.

I am grateful.