Turning points

It is sometimes with reflection that i think on various turning points in my life. Things happen to us, and our lives change course.

There was such a moment early in my 3rd year of medical school. I was with a large group of students and interns making rounds, and we came upon a very alert, but elderly and frail African American women. She politely asked my senior resident, "am i a diabetic."

He ignored her but she politely persisted, "my tray came today and it said diabetic, no one ever told me i was a diabetic." And i can remember the moment vividly, he turned on her and said "shut up and eat what i tell you." And in a flash i could not stop myself from saying, "you can't speak to a person like that."

The matter went to the Dean. And like so many things in life, fairness is not always apparent in the moment. The senior resident was validated and i got into serious trouble. "Who did i think i was?"

There had been some other issues on campus, i had supported some "radical" changes in health care such as "patient bill of rights" (now long a reality), the right of a patient to make health care advance directives (now long a reality), and the need to integrate Medical Schools both in gender and race (now long a reality). But in 1970, over 20 years after Jackie Robinson had first played for the Dodgers, there had not been an African American in a New York State medical school, and a class of 114 had 4 women and was all Caucasian.

My Dean reflected that i was a "self styled new breed of Physician."

And in that moment, i took to heart that becoming a physician was something precious for me, an opportunity that i did not wish to lose - but at the same time, that within my own practice and effort i would do what i could for social justice and for fairness.

I have spent many years in primary care, working in Nursing Homes, and working in Hospice. Some of the "social change" that i advocated years ago, has occurred within the time of my career.

Overriding this has been the nature of being a physician caring for patients near the end of mortal life - that sometimes we can cure, and always we can care. It seems perhaps, that the most important aspect of the equation has never really changed.

Everyone who works in Hospice has a story, a reason why, an aspect of their lives that made them choose to do this work.

Bringing Reiki to Hospice, i find that Reiki is very simple. It is a method that attempts to connect to the Spiritual Energy that unites us all. It isn't a religion, and for sure it is not the only method of "connecting."

In finding our own "turning points," and in connecting, with one method or another, to our patients and our co workers, we sustain our need for the energy to do this precious yet challenging work.